The thing about the truth is that most just can’t handle it. Honesty hurts so we just choose to ignore it. It can be difficult or complicated to comprehend, but it exists and is in direct sight. For a variety of reasons, most have difficulty facing honesty head on.
Although many won’t outright lie on intention, they shade the truth, avoid, or deflect it. They alter it to a degree to make it more comfortable or convenient for themselves or others. We can tell little while lies on intent from disrupting our relationships or careers.
What research shows is that we’re lied to on various levels of intent, on average, up to hundred or more times per day. So it becomes important to note how honest you are in your everyday situations.
What’s convenient is to just use segments of the truth which we feel are appropriate or acceptable, what others want to hear, while not telling the entire story allowing them to fill in the blanks.
What’s common is telling distorted little fibs of omission, which paints an altered picture of reality. It’s no surprise to anyone that these “lies” can hurt relationships and at times destroy them.
Telling lies to protect others can also leave some feeling bad about themselves, this since they don’t feel authentic when they’re not being completely honest. These are the games of lies that we all play, and the way that these lies can hurt ourselves and others in different areas of our lives.
Why We Exaggerate
Those who may have certain insecurities will construct a certain image of themselves, this when they’re seeking approval from others. Exaggerating is simply not representing yourself honestly, at times making you feel like a fraud, while damaging your self-esteem.
There’s a fine line between completely inflating your abilities and highlighting your attributes. You might decide to exaggerate to an employer your skill level or progress, which just leads to your actions not matching your words.
At times, we’ll lie to compensate for guilt. A parent if they forget about their child’s soccer game, for instance, will promise that they’ll show up for every game for the rest of the year, only to disappoint them again several weeks later.
It becomes difficult to hide a broken promise. What constantly exaggerating does is it deems you as untrustworthy, full of bull. Your words begin to mean less once the reality doesn’t match up.
Manipulating In Your Favor
When you talk to someone about an interaction that you had with someone else, do you just tell your side of the story, while conveniently omitting tiny yet significant details of the entire incident. Do you alter the less desirable words.
Think how these changes can influence their attitude or response. Are you just telling them what you want them to hear, manipulating the outcome.
Whenever you control a response by slightly shading the truth, what you then create is an alternate reality between you and the other person. They’ll then give or get advice which may be based on faulty information.
What you’re doing is denying yourself value and integrity, of what the other persons true opinions may have awarded you.
To Protect Yourself
Often, we don’t tell others directly how we feel or what they want to hear. You may also be putting your guard up which protects you from becoming vulnerable or embarrassed. You downplay your emotions, act like you don’t care, this since you don’t want to look inferior.
But defending yourself with false portrayals or deceptions, will usually drive you further away from your goals, while preventing you from getting what you really want.
Telling Lies By Omission
You’ll complain that you can’t lose weight to someone, but fail to mention that you just had a chocolate bar as an afternoon snack. What everyone will often do is leave out a few less desirable but pertinent details.
We’ll do so just to spare someone’s feelings or to be sensitive. Most often, these details matter and you know it. These omissions, however, to most may not feel like acts of deception.
Whether you have nothing to hide, or have something that you’d rather others not know, leaving out certain facts will make you feel and appear a bit shady, while making the bed for further deception.
But once you pledge to create an environment where you decide to tell nothing but the truth, to be completely honest and transparent, then doing so can create a feeling of mutual trust and honesty.
Stop The Gossip
Gossip has become an epidemic. Everywhere you go, whether it be at home, work, social gatherings, and especially on social media, gossip is rampant. It’s the biggest industry that the media owns.
The biggest issue when talking smack about someone behind their back is you usually deny that you ever did, this if you’re ever confronted by them. You lie, so you can see how this can become harmful to all your relationships.
A friend, family member or loved one should be someone that you can talk honestly and openly with, someone who you can offer feedback to, while welcoming back the same.
Another issue of gossiping is that it breeds cynicism while destroying compassion. It’s a nasty method of indirectly dealing with true observations or feelings which are competitive. Gossip becomes the breeding ground for rumors.
Once you begin to favor direct honest communication instead of gossip, what you become is more genuine, appealing, compassionate, and much more trustworthy as an individual.